Jet Force Gemini Review [Rare Replay] (XB1)

  Jet Force Gemini is considered a “cult classic”; a sizable chunk of the gaming community did not play it when it first released, but over time there has developed a small but vocal group that praises the game to almost mythical status. This usually means one of two things: it may very well be an overlooked gem that was ahead of it's time or just came out at the wrong time/wasn't marketed correctly, or it's just a bad game that released to little fanfare and was justly forgotten. After spending some time with Jet Force Gemini and trying my damnedest to power through this mind numbing ordeal, I can safely say this is a case of the latter.

  It would be easy to knock Jet Force's controls for being extremely awkward, but that wouldn't be entirely fair. This is an N64 game, so having to move your cursor to the edge of the screen before your reticle moves or pressing up on the right stick to jump comes with the territory. Action games did the best they could with a single stick and those awful C-buttons, and Rare Replay emulation does the same on the Xbox One controller. Eventually you get used to the touchy aiming and cycling through your weapons one by one, and it becomes manageable at least. What the game asks you to perform with these serviceable controls ends up being pretty dull.

  There were a decent amount of enjoyable sci-fi action games on the N64 I fondly remember: Star Fox, Body Harvest, Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire... so it can be done. Jet Force Gemini tries punching above it's weight, and while it's admirable Rare attempted something on a larger scale, the end result is a boring, misguided game.

  You start out controlling what looks like a run-of-the-mill space marine wearing a cartoon version of Doom Guy armor. Soon you rescue a miniskirt-wearing, blue haired, Madonna-boobed heroine, who then rescues a dog with rockets on his paws. You can switch between the three protagonists (take that GTA V), and while they play identical for the most part they have unique abilities that are needed to advance in certain areas or collect items. The perspective swapping would have been revolutionary if it wasn't such a pain in the ass. You can't change on the fly (understandable), but switching characters will transfer you to the beginning of the last level the new character was on. Meaning if you spot a collectible (and there are many...) you need another character to reach, you'll be playing the entire level over again to get to it.

  And this is what gets Jet Force Gemini a big, loud, “Fuck you!”. Backtracking. Jesus fucking Christ, the backtracking... it's inexcusable. Playing through these overly large and usually maze-y levels can be enjoyable the first time through, but after the third time... Just fuck you. This isn't a difficult game. The life and ammo refills and continue system is more than generous. What is going to set off a fail state more often than missing a jump or taking hostile fire is the untimely death of the Ewok/bear creatures the game demands you save through little to no fault of your own.

  I was under the impression I was going to finish the game and had generally positive thoughts on it, then it takes a giant wet dump. Scattered throughout each stage are native creatures you'd figure were just there to be rescued for a bonus stage/secret ending. Nope. After you think you're done you're tasked with finding each and every one, along with scattered ship parts and hidden items, along with the key cards you need to access them. It's bad enough all of this extraneous filler is usually tucked away in cryptic locations you will need certain party members to reach, but the natives are also extremely mortal and fragile. Throw a grenade at an enemy where an Ewok you didn't see happened to be standing? Fuck you, reload the entire stage. Firing at an enemy who throws a random grenade, which causes it to explode and kills a native? Too bad. Spent twenty minutes working through a stage, but took too long to jump on descending cliffs one was standing on? Do it again. How about fuck off?

  I had a serious internal battle toward the end of my patience with this game. As stated before, Jet Force Gemini is NOT a difficult game by any traditional standards, but would I let my gamer pride take a hit by giving up on it before I had seen the end credits? Ultimately, yep. After toiling in frustration for hours, trying to decode the shit symbols the game paints itself in, I ended up opening up a walkthrough, figuring, “Yeah, this has some terrible design choices and I'm not really having fun anymore, but at least I can finish it and maybe find some redemption in the end.” Fuck that, too. Trudging through the bland levels checking off Ewoks, keys, and ship parts just revealed what a fucking mess this game is. Jet Force Gemini belongs in obscurity. This is the bad parts of Rare design on full display and it can fuck itself.